The fallout...

It's been awhile since my last entry, and many stuff has happened.  If you guys read my last blog, this is kinda like the followup of how things went from good to bad.

I don't even know where to start since there were always little things happening from the beginning that kinda annoy me a little but those were not harmful at all.  Oh, when I say harmful, it's things that really could send Olivia to the hospital.

And it's not between me and my husband, all these drama happened between my husband and his mother and of course including me since it included my daughter Olivia too.
It's funny to see how someone can change that drastically from one person to another, and more surprisingly into a different person.

It took me awhile to think if I should write this, will it sound like I'm turning my mother in law into a monster?  Will it seem like I'm getting a revenge?  I kept all my feelings inside and it's driving me crazy!  I then told my husband's cousin and his aunt and they did not find it surprising since they said she was like that from the beginning.   I'm also slowly hearing a lot of things from my brother in law since she is staying with him now and the lies she made up to turn me into this monster.  That's what disturbs, annoy me the most.  She says she needs to cook, clean and we basically torture her and she has to cry herself to sleep every night.  I laughed when I heard that because I do all the cooking, 3 times a day, 7 days a week.  I clean the house since why would I have my guest clean my house for me?  I told my husband's cousin and she laughed, because she stays close to us and visits every so often and she sees how much stuff I have to do, it's like taking care of another toddler.

Alright, I have to give her credit since she does wash the dishes most of the time but she offered since I did the cooking.  If that's a torture to her, I would gladly do it myself.  Maybe this was her way of getting revenge when she does the dishes...

Don't see it?  I was cleaning up the dish rack and felt it.. let me zoom in for you.

Seriously, who would put a knife in like that?  I'm glad I didn't get a deep cut and it was only a scratch.

I'm only touching on the icing of stuff and haven't even gone into more about what she did, there are much, much worst stuff she did.  Maybe she really dislike me.

Life is easier when you let it go....

I am kinda lucky and unlucky that I don't have to stay with my in law.  It's part of our Chinese culture that when you marry, the female, wife, moves into the male family and takes care of his family which usually consist of his parents and grandparents.  You will have to take care of their meals, washing and of course the burden of giving them a grandSON, but as time pass and with the new era, many youngsters opp to live away from their parent and in laws to prevent family feud.

My husband's mom lived in Hong Kong and we live in New York, so by luck I don't have to move into his family.  But I've lived with his mom before when she visits New York and days felt like months, months felt like years.  It's not easy living with another person.  You have your own routine and suddenly this person comes into your life and routine and changes everything.

It's different when your own mom comes to your home and redecorates your home, you just roll your eyes and tell it straight out and let your mom know what you think.  But when you mother in law moves your stuff, you grind your teeth and bear with it.  In the olden days, the husband goes out to work and bring the dough home, so the home does not belong to you but to the husband.  So what the mother in law wants to do to the home is up to her, cause that is her son.  With the new era, both parties goes out to work and bring home the dough, and by chance maybe the wife earns more than the husband.

Coming home from work and finding she hung ropes in your bathroom and kitchen, so there's more space for her to hang her towels, hand towels, clothes.  She's about 5' and I'm 5'7 and walking in the bathroom is like going through a jungle.  Seeing her bra and panties hanging right in front of your face.  If that's not enough, she takes the weekly flyers from stores and not to exaggerate, she takes them by bunches and my home is like a newspaper recycling center, and covers the table so there's no need for wiping the dining table and washing the table cloth.  She frowns when you buy clothes, asking you how much you spent and reminds you that you still have lots of clothes in your closet and how hard her son works for the family.  I would talk to her about it but she would never listens and always have a excuse for her doings.  I would dread when she comes to visit and her visit would usually end with her leaving unhappily.

It's been 4 years when she visited and this time she's here to stay for 3 months and hopes to visit her granddaughter, which is my daughter Olivia.  As you know and if you don't, I'm now a stay home mom so now my husband is really the bread winner of the family.  I no longer can say that I bring money into the home and I use my own money to buy the things I like.  I dread the jungle bathroom and the recycling center.
To my surprise, we managed to talk more.  Maybe because I use Olivia as my excuse that ropes are dangerous and stacks of newspaper.. it's torn into little pieces and all over the floor and it makes her hands dirty and all that goes into her mouth.  As for the bra and panties, i gave her hangers and she hangs them on the shower rod.. it's give and take.  She uses the flyers during meal and clears them up after meal, and that's give and take too.  My husband pulls his hair out over small matter she does but it really does not bother me anymore.

Have I changed or maybe she's changed?  Or have we both learned to let it go.....

A day at the zoo

Went to the Queens zoo on Sat Sept 27, 2014.  If any of you have been there, it's pretty small compared to the Bronx Zoo; the size is just right for us to see everything in an hour or two.  The highlight of our visit was definitely the petting zoo where Olivia get to feed the goats.

We brought Olivia there when she was a little over 1 and she was terrified, so I was thinking it would be the same too this time.  To my surprise, she was excited about feeding the goats and she had so much fun.  There was almost a mini celebration there!

After being a mom, it's such simple things that mean so much.  Who would care if someone's daughter was afraid of feeding goats 1 year ago and now is able to feed the goats.  Sounds silly but any mom out there would understand.

We also had fun in the fair in front of the zoo where they had a carousel, train, mini roller coaster, car ride and etc.
Olivia rode the train twice, loved it.  Carousel with my husband and was terrified,

and the car ride which seems pretty tame but I thought was pretty exciting for kids with the quick turn that swings you around, and of course Olivia was terrified too.

It's pretty funny to see her face after that quick turn which I don't have any photo to show... bummer.